Today is one of those days were I feel like I am falling into air.

I feel like I have changed so completely in past 8 months. I wish I knew where to start. Have you taken a step back from your life and looked at what your dreams are, not only where you want to be, but who you want to be? I have recently done this and I discovered I wasn’t the person who I wanted to be. So I have taken the steps to changed things about myself to be the person I want to be. What I mean by this is that I never thought I would look at love as such a joke but I have become that cynical person. I honestly want to be in love again. I love sharing things with that one person feeling safe when they are around, feeling complete just being near them. I would say changing this about myself is the thing I struggle with the most right now. Other aspects I was not happy with. I was a very negative self deprecating person. I feel like this very difficult to change but I feel as if I am doing pretty damn good at it. Life is what you make it and why would you want to make it a horrid experience if you don’t have to have it that way. I am just a person and I have flaws no one is perfect and it doesn’t matter what anyone in my past or future has to say about who I am cause only I know who I am at the core. One day someone else may be able to see my core but at this moment no one in the world besides me knows that. So whatever negative things anyone has ever said to me about myself or thought about me it doesn’t matter because I know who I am and discovering this and truly believing in it did wonders for me. I am the ruler of my own destiny. I choose to make it whatever I want it to be. I also know that before I decided to let anyone in my life completely as my other half I need to love myself and I can sit here and blame a certain person for screwing my head and making me hate myself but I had control of it all along so why she had no right to do the things she did to me, it may have damaged me but I will rise and be a million times better than I ever was. So I am working on the mental aspects of loving who I am but I am also working on the physical aspects, but that is for another day. As for right now I am going to go start making dinner.